Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood – Love in Academia

Title: Love, Theoretically

Author(s) Name(s): Ali Hazelwood

Published in: 2023

Why You Might Like This Book: Read this book if you enjoy

• light-hearted rom-coms,
• romance in academia, and
• fiction with a dose of science.

Who Should Avoid This Book: Avoid this book if you are triggered by or dislike

• anxiety, or
• self-doubt, or
• if you had a breakup and want to stay away from romance!

The Chemistry Between Two Physicists – Convincing Theoretically? Will There Be An Experiment?

Published in June 2023, Love, Theoretically is a romance novel written by Ali Hazelwood. The book has got all the elements of the heterosexual romance trope and also reflections of reality of the daily life of an only person with a doctorate in science in their family. A single lead who is skilled in physics but is not in the best phase of life and has low self-esteem about her nerdy appearance and social skills. A somewhat dysfunctional family, none of whom care about their daughter’s accomplishments in education or career or even know what her work or thesis is about. Can’t make ends meet with the earnings or savings, so needs a side job and must also share her apartment with a roommate. With all these circumstances, our lead, Elsie is more like a science lover and self-hater, who has groomed herself to be a people-pleaser because it makes life easy for her.

The Perfect Man, Prince Science Coming to The Rescue – Appealing to All Pathetic Princesses of Science:

Most of the first half is about how big Jack is. Huge. A towering figure. A towering tower. How he is 5 feet taller (not literally) than Elsie. His huge palm. How he is a blackhole. How he is the biggest one in the room. A monstrosity. But who is Jack? One who ticks all the boxes of the stereotypical Alpha man for heteroromantic, heterosexual women and girls in the world of physicists Elise and her like in the Ali Hazelwood universe. Intelligent, smart, calculative, self-confident, tough, sexy mind-reader. On top of all this, unlike the Tate brothers’ version of “alpha male”, Jack is also charming, kind, generous, grounded, gentlemanly, caring, is against misogyny, and takes discrimination against women seriously.

Love Theoretically feels like a light-hearted rom-com, as in there are no intense emotions pulling your heartstrings and keeping you awake at night in the first half of the book. That way, Jack is probably the dream man a helpless, tired, straight, single, romantic woman would desire – he does not play mind games, is not insecure or cocky or perverted, is not confused about his feelings, is not hot and cold (wait, was this book written in the 80s or something?!), kind of like a romantic fantasy for a woman in academia who wakes up to financial crisis at home every day, for whom joy is physics or research, and for whom the future looks bleak. It is this part of the story that some female academics also find to be pessimistic, unhelpful, and even misogynistic (rightfully so!) because why should a giant man come and save the damsel in distress?

Mostly But Not Only Romance:

Most of the book is about these two characters and all that happens when they encounter each other. The focus is so much on Jack that even life-altering circumstances aren’t taken seriously. But if you happen to be a straight woman reading this, especially one who can relate to the working-class academician or researcher stereotype, which naturally would imply that you rarely ever get the time for dating, then you could catch yourself wondering once in a while, is this how awkward I am when I like him? Some of us women can see ourselves in Elsie and some can feel bored by what might feel like Elsie’s (or the author’s?) conservative approach towards sex and physical intimacy, especially when we are not talking in terms of an aro-ace-spec but a cis-het woman? Many of us might enjoy how the romance gradually builds up with unexpected twists of events. And some of us can relate to that grey area even if we don’t want to admit it!

But it is not just romance and self-deprecating humour. There are also characters that are relatable or comforting who are not Jack, like the mentor who you feel grateful towards but have difficulty saying no to, especially when you know they are wrong and you deserve better, a lovable, warm roommate who you share a sweet friendship with, yet you do not have common interests, and a few other smart, tough women in STEM whom you will develop an instant liking towards.

Self-Awareness Homework: Sticking to Your Comfort-Zone is Easy, But You Must Come Out Someday!

There are other aspects to the story as well, some of which are eye-opening, events some may even be able to relate to, no matter how bitter: the rare occurrence of internalized misogyny coming from within you, on a bad day when you are deeply hurt, a moment that leaves you feeling disgusted, getting intimate with a man when you did not really want to, afraid to leave a man who is clearly no match for you simply because you put in a lot of effort and spent a lot of valuable time to keep the ‘relationship’ going, hoping you had finally found love! Investing precious time in so many things like your career and passion and dreams, all that is okay, but let us not ignore our bad habits that continue to haunts, the author reminds us. Valid points, but does it all have to come from a man, that one man, the same man who is also your romantic partner? Doesn’t that only reinforce the too-good-to-be-true perfect alpha male idea further, prompting young readers want to dream of and hunt for a man that doesn’t exist?

Fall in Love with Science if You Please!

The first time he asks her out, you can’t believe, you as a romance reader had to wait for over 200 pages for this to happen – in a romance novel! But then how did you reach this point? So somehow, even without the romantic reader knowing how exactly, the book serves as a page-turner. For science geeks, there is at least one physics metaphor to explain feelings and awkward situations in every few pages, so even if one finds the characters and the story boring, these science wordplays are cute and charming. Clearly, the primary target audience is youngsters in STEM and science lovers. Loads of science puns and metaphors, intelligent ones, stupid ones, entertaining ones and boring ones. For those who would find this interesting, it gets even better with frequent mentions of discoveries and theories from physics, even chapter names are concepts in physics, as though, when romance is not in the air, there is certainly some food for the brain at least to keep you interested! For instance, the t-shirt with “May the mass times acceleration be with you” printed on it. Like what really matters, unless you multiply it by the speed of light, then it energies.

For women from the world of science who are tired of being mansplained at work by seniors, juniors, and peers who don’t even know what they are talking about, for romantic academicians whose dating lives are boring, for women who have no clue as to what is going on in their life because academia, financial problems and work drain all your energy, Ali’s Love, Theoretically is comforting, amusing, and gives hope, or at least, a good night’s sleep after a long day.